While the k**s nap and the game is on, I'm in the den, quietly looking through family albums when I start to see my wife in shit loads of pictures. She is usually dressed like she is going out to a party or a singles bar. The only way she would do this if she knew she would be safe with an escort- a big black 'date'. In the older ones she is barely visible, like a guest at a party. Later they must have spent entire events together as they are always a couple. Then come the ones with her in shorts, or bathing suits and one with her top off while he oils her back. All they said about this outing was that everyone got wasted and fell asleep. Truth is everyone left early, it's hard to steer down that mountain in the dark. They paired off early and disappeared. So that leaves a whole afternoon and evening unaccounted for. In almost every shot they are looking deeply at each other and she is smiling like I've never seen. She is wearing these tight white cotton shorts that show her moose. "You're a sight for sore eyes," I commented, as I stepped through the doorway. You studied my face for a moment, and your smile faltered. Without saying a word, you closed the door behind me, pulled my heavy coat from my shoulders and dropped it on the ground, and wrapped your arms around me. My face was pressed into your chest, the soft cotton of your shirt and your faint masculine smell telling me I was home, and everything would be all right. I started to let my guard down, and all of a sudden, like a wave, the grief came through. Without realizing it, I was clinging to you, keening, and crying like I'd never stop. "Tighter," I whispered, "hold me tighter." Your arms crushed me until I could barely breathe, and still I tried to pull you closer.The whole time, I could hear you whispering in my ear, telling me you loved me and anything else that came to mind. Your fingers stroked my back, my shoulders, anywhere they could reach, comforting me as best they could without letting go..
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